As homework in a poetry course I partook in with lovely, talented Brooke McNamara, "Writing to the heart of motherhood", I wrote this. I thought it would be worth sharing.
This is a letter to you. It is the letter I would have wished someone would have written to me as a young girl. My intention is to give you something usable about how to navigate this world. How to be in the midst of failing systems, being let down or misunderstood. In a world of deceit and war. In a world of abandonment and death. First of all. Give thanks every day for being alive. It is an enormous gift, and you never know when it will be taken away from you. After that be thankful for everyone you love being alive, you cannot take anything for granted here in this world. Praise your aliveness, in whatever way you find joyous. Dance barefoot in your garden or put your feet in the soft warm sand at a beach and let the wind fill your lungs with air and caress and mess your hair up a little bit. Go with messy hair wherever it suits you. Never fall into the trap of being too pruned, too well behaved. But know how to be that in situations that require it. Make those situations as few as you can... Find someone to Love. Ideally be it a partner, but if you do not have the advantage to have a partner let it be a friend or a pet or a garden. How do you Love? You let it be your mission to make that living being know you understand that they are free and that you would run around the block in the middle of the night to make them safe and warm and comfortable to share their gifts with you. Make them know they would not want to be with anyone else than you. Only you will know how to do that, and it is your task to find out. Never forget that. If your partner does not understand what you are giving, please leave and dont wait too long. Dont be a pain in the arse. You will be, but anyway know you dont want to be that. And when you have been one, learn to say sorry. Let there be a lot of space between you and your partner or friends. Value moments of solitude, even build them into your relation. Learn to love being with yourself, and make those moments sacred. That will also nurture any relationship with others. Know how to be really intimate and close, naked and vulnerable with another, but likewise know that every interesting or good relation rests upon the capacity of being alone, at peace, safe and authentic with oneself. Make those alone moments inbuilt in your life, and cherish the moments of gathering and union likewise. Find out something creative you love doing. Ideally make it your living. Strive to find what you love doing, and try to make that your living. That goes before earning money. And if you follow this advice I would not be surprised if you earn a lot of money from it. It is usually noted when someone does something one loves. Be individualistic, but not egoistically selfish. Rather always in relation to the bigger whole. Happiness usually follows doing something that serves others, so try to do that in whatever way you find joyous. There are as many ways as there are people. Never forget that, no matter what anyone else says. Any group or system has their own set of rules. Accept that and learn to contribute and thrive within it. But try to always be in spaces free enough for you to say, No, or simply leave if you find it violating your inner sacred being. Be mindful of what groups you choose to participate in. Avoid anything fundementalistic. Do something everyday that serves another. Sing, dance be silly. No one will ever thank you for being controlled and rigid. Do not let anyone else dictate how you should be silly and free. That is entirely your choice and let anyone who does not understand that understand they can go with their silliness somewhere else. Dont let people step over you. But likewise learn to swallow some shit sometimes. It is a good thing to learn being silent
and permitting others to make mistakes. It is all about discernment. Learn that. It will take a lifetime, but never give up. Take care of your body. It is awesome. You will need it. Both in your own privacy and in company, I can assure you that keeping it somewhat fit is a good idea for your wellbeing.